American Wedding

                           (We were at our friend Sam's wedding in Catalina Island)
                    
After Ben and  I were dating for about a year, he started asking me what kind of engagement and wedding rings Vietnamese usually buy? I did not have that much experience, but from my two sisters weddings, I told him that they both are very simple. Then he asked me: what do you mean simple? I meant they are not expensive, maybe 1 unit of gold (at that time it was about 2 million VND/unit of gold which was about $100 at the time). Ben was very surprised and asked if wanted the same as my sisters. I immediately said that I thought that was too much since I don't care about things like that. To me, I think it is more important that the couple just truly love each other. Then I was curious and asked him how much are the rings that American people use for engagements and weddings? He told me that engagement rings are usually much much much more expensive than my standard. I was really shocked when he said they ranged from probably $5,000 to $10,000 or even more (he told me it was supposed to be "two month's salary"). I said: REALLY? That is too much. I did not want such a fancy engagement ring, because I thought it was such a big waste on one thing which is not that related to the love of a couple.  We told that story to a lot of Ben's friends and they said to me, "Wait until when you go to America, you will change your mind and ask Ben for a diamond ring!"

When I came to America, I saw that most of the girls that I met have big diamond engagement rings. Honestly, I do not know at all how much the rings are worth from looking at them. But from Ben, I know that they are very expensive. I told Ben that he is very lucky because I am very cheap and I do not ever want a diamond ring!

Not just the rings, having a wedding in America is so much different from Vietnamese weddings. I think Vietnamese weddings are much simpler than American weddings. We do have more steps before the wedding, but preparing for Vietnamese weddings is much easier. We both feel lucky to have our wedding in Vietnam. Let see how all the preparations different from Vietnamese weddings and American weddings:

+  Wedding invitation: Would be sent out 1 week before the wedding in Vietnam. As I know in America, almost about 1 year before the wedding people know the date and then send out invitations about two months before. So when I told my family and friends that we will have our wedding in 6 months, they all said that why did you tell me now, just tell me 1 or 2 weeks before the wedding!
+ Wedding dress: Some of my friends have had their dresses made, which I know costs just about $200. But most people rent their wedding dresses -- like me.  I wore a dress from our Wedding Photo Shop. It was part of our package which included the wedding photos, videos, make-up, hair, bridesmaids' dresses and my dress for just $500. And that was an expensive shop! I am sure it is much more money to have a wedding dress in America.
+ Wedding place: In Vietnam, we celebrate in both the bride and groom's hometown, but the main celebration is at the groom's hometown. In America, a wedding place can be at one place and it is at either groom or bride's hometown, but as I know, many people have their wedding in different places. I went to Ben's friend Sam's wedding in Catalina Island, which wasn't either the bride or groom's hometown but rather just a place that they loved. It was such a beautiful place and I bet it was really expensive to have a wedding there.
+ Wedding date: In Vietnam, it can be any day of the week depending upon what the psychic tells the couple. In America, weddings are mostly at the weekend. Sometimes there is a Friday night wedding.
+ Wedding celebration: I would say maximum time of a Vietnamese wedding celebration is about 3 hours (if a wedding is at a restaurant and hotel it is just from 1-2 hours) and all we do is eat and talk. I have been to two weddings in America and they were both 6 hours long. I think weddings in America are so much more fun since you have dancing, speeches,  and eating all night long. For me, a night before Vietnamese wedding when friends and family come to celebrate is much more fun than the actual wedding day.
+ Wedding guests and cost: We had a medium amount of people at our wedding in Vietnam: 400 people. I now know that would be a huge number in America. But it is so much cheaper in Vietnam to have 400 people than having 100 people at an American wedding. I was so surprised when Ben told me that the average amount of money for a 100 person wedding in America is at least $30,000, which is the cost of probably four 400-person weddings in Vietnam. Ben also mentioned that weddings in the northeast (where we live) are probably the most expensive in the country.

Attending an American wedding is definitely one of the nicest experiences so far for me. We were very lucky to have so many friends and family came for our wedding in Vietnam. We were also amazed by Ben's friends Taylor and Andrew who hosted our "LA wedding" in California about 2 months ago. They threw us a great party with about 60 people in their backyard.  AND we are very excited for our upcoming Wedding Brunch which is being prepared by Ben's parents at the end of the month. I really feel that all of our celebrations are mixed between American and Vietnamese Weddings.